What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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