What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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Why did the cucumber call 911?

It was in a pickle!
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?

[A Condesending con descending]
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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