What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?

A drummer

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Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?

[A Condesending con descending]
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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What do bees do with their honey?

They cell it.
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I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'.

So I went - and I got it.
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Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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