What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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Know how copper wire was invented?

Two lawyers were fighting over a penny.
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What did the alien say when he was out of room?

I'm all spaced out!
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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