What do you call the king of vegetables?

Elvis Parsley.
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?

Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out

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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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