What do you call the king of vegetables?

Elvis Parsley.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've got you covered!
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How did the bubble gum cross the road?

On the bottom of the chicken's foot!
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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