What do you call the king of vegetables?

Elvis Parsley.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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How many Cabbage Patch dolls does it take to change a light bulb?

The question is irrelevant, since you couldn't find the dolls even if you knew how many. (Note: Well, this was a good joke in 1983-84. . . .)
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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