What do you call the king of vegetables?

Elvis Parsley.
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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Interesting story, the guy who helped me learn algebra never farted around anyone.

I mean he did say he was a private tutor.
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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