What do you call the king of vegetables?

Elvis Parsley.
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How many Holocaust revisionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None: they just deny that the bulb ever went out in the first place.
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What's the definition of a minor second?

Two flutes playing in unison.

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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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How many accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What kind of answer did you have in mind?
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