What do you call the king of vegetables?

Elvis Parsley.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.

I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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What does cheese like to drink?

Morbier
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