What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

The guardians of the galaxy!
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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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What bird can lift the most?

A crane.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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