What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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Why did Venus have to get an air conditioner?

Because Mercury moved in.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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How many ergonomicists does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. Four to decide which way the bulb ought to turn, and . . .
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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