What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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How many anarchists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

All of them.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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