What do you call two banana peels?

Slippers.
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Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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Why are the floors of basketball courts always so damp?

The players dribble a lot.
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How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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