What do you call two banana peels?

Slippers.
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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Can you say Richard and Robert had a rabbit without using the "r" sound?

Sure, Dick and Bob had a bunny!
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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