What do you call two banana peels?

Slippers.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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Why does the Easter Bunny have a shiny nose?

His powder puff is on the wrong end.
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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