What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

You crack me up!
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Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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