What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.

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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.

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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g

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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.

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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.

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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!

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