What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?

It's time to go to sweep.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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