What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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What clothes does a house wear?

Address.
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