What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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What do you call a guy who's born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?

Dead.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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