What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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How can you tell that a train just went by?

It left its tracks.
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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