What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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How many does it take to screw in a light bulb?

10. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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