What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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How do Eskimos make their beds?

With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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