What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station.
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