What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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How do you make an egg laugh?

Tell it a yolk.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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Two satellites decided to get married.

The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
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I'm in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won a years supply of Marmite

......... one jar.
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