What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A whole synod. One to move that the bulb be changed while the others debate until the room spins.
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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A man goes to a zoo and discovers there is only one animal and it's a dog.

It was a Shih Tzu
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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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