What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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Why did a boy thow a clock out the window?

To see time fly.
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A seal walks into a club...
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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