What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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What do aliens on the metric system say?

Take me to your liter.
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How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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