What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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