What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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