What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?

I don't know. There are some things even a blonde won't do.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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