What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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What is the best time to go to the dentist?

Tooth-hurty.
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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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