What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?

A Moo-sician!

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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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