What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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What bird can lift the most?

A crane.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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What does a cat call a hummingbird?

Fast food.
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What does the toast wear to bed?

Jammies!
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