What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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The stormtrooper was enjoying the Wookie steak,

but it was a little Chewie.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane

but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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How many anarchists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

All of them.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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