What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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How do you make an egg laugh?

Tell it a yolk.
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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