What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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Two satellites decided to get married.

The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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