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What do you do when your chair breaks?
Call a chairman.
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?
To get to the body shop.
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What's a tree's favorite drink?
Rootbeer.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?
Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?
Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?
Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?
A watch dog.
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What was the first animal in space?
The cow that jumped over the moon!
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