What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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So I was on a train with Einstein and he turns to me and asks...

Does Boston stop at this train?
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There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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