What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What did Tennessee?

The same thing Arkansas.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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