What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.
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What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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