What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

An envelope.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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