What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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Why did Venus have to get an air conditioner?

Because Mercury moved in.
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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