What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?

The pronunciation.
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What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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