What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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How many dull people does it take to change a light bulb?

One.
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?

Snowflakes.
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