What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?

A stick.
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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