What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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Why did the oreo go to the dentist?

To get his filling!
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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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