What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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What is a boxer's favorite drink?

Punch.
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Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?

They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?

Because he wanted to tie the score!
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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