What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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How many fatalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What does it matter? we're all gonna die anyway.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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