What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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How do chickens get strong?

Egg-cersize.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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