What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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Name four men that are in a rock group together but none of them sing nor play music...

Mt Rushmore. They're a rock group.. it's a rock...group
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What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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What are pirate's favoite treat?

Chips AHOY!!
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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That girl said she knew me from the vegitarian club,

but I'd never seen herbivore [her before]
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