What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What did one magnet say to the other?

I find you very attractive.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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