What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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