What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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How many Klingons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw it in, and one to stab the other in the back and take all the credit.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?

Because he wanted to tie the score!
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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