What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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Why would Snow White make a great judge?

She was the fairest in the land.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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