What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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What do you call the king of vegetables?

Elvis Parsley.
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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