What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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A Bhuddist monk goes to a hotdog stand

and says make me one with everything.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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