What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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What does cheese say to itself in the mirror?

Halloumi.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane

but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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I'm in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won a years supply of Marmite

......... one jar.
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What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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