What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?

About one third less than for a regular bulb.
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How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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