What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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Why did Venus have to get an air conditioner?

Because Mercury moved in.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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How many Bell Labs vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

That's proprietary information. The answer is available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).
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