What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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Know how copper wire was invented?

Two lawyers were fighting over a penny.
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How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, provided there is a programmer around to explain how to do it.
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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