What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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