What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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How did Ben Franklin feel after discovering electricity?

Shocked.
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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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