What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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How many orgy attenders does it take to change a lightbulb?

As many as possible, and don't *ask* what they do with the old bulb.
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What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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