What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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What do you call a guy who's born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?

Dead.
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Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?

Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out

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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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I stayed up all night because I wanted to see where the sun went,

and then it dawned on me.
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