What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?

Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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How can you tell that a train just went by?

It left its tracks.
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