What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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What's brown and looks really good on a lawyer?

A Doberman.
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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