What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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How many chiropractors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but it takes six visits.
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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