What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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My pastor, he ate too many beans.

He had in his own pews.
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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How many does it take to screw in a light bulb?

10. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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