What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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What can you hold without ever touching it?

A conversation.
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What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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