What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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How many board meetings does it take to get a light bulb changed?

This topic was resumed from last week's discussion, but is incomplete pending resolution of some action items. It will be continued next week. Meanwhile . . .
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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