What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What did the clock do after it ate?

It went back four seconds!
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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Why did the oreo go to the dentist?

To get his filling!
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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