What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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