What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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