What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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