What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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What do sea monsters eat for lunch?

Fish and ships.
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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How many fatalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What does it matter? we're all gonna die anyway.
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I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'.

So I went - and I got it.
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