What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?

They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?

The batter.
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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