What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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What kind of table has no legs.

A multiplication table.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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There was an explosion at a cheese factory in France...

all that was left was de brie.
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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