What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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How did the bubble gum cross the road?

On the bottom of the chicken's foot!
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When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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