What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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Why did the banana go to the hospital?

Because he wasn't peeling well!
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