What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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