What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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What country makes you shiver?

Chile.
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Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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How many [ethnic] gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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