What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?

I don't know. There are some things even a blonde won't do.
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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Televangelists screw in motels.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What is a snowman's favorite breakfast?

Frosted Flakes!
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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How many supply-siders does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The darkness will cause the bulb to change by itself.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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