What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?

I don't know. There are some things even a blonde won't do.
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How did Ben Franklin feel after discovering electricity?

Shocked.
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"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.

We'll see about that."

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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.
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Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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What does cheese say to itself in the mirror?

Halloumi.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
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