What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?

I don't know. There are some things even a blonde won't do.
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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Were does a boat go when it is sick?

To the dock.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?

You're the only bright spot in my life.
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What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?

They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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