What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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