What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?

You're the only bright spot in my life.
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A seal walks into a club...
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How many chiropractors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but it takes six visits.
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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