What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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Where do all the letters sleep?

In the alphabed.
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What does the winner of the race lose?

His breath.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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