What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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What did one eye say to the other?

Between you and me, something smells.
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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