What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!
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