What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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What's the slipperiest country?

Greece!
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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