What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. He gives it to six Californians, thereby reducing the problem to an earlier joke...

In earlier work, Wiener [1] has shown that one mathematician can change a light bulb.

If k mathematicians can change a light bulb, and if one more simply watches them do it, then k+1 mathematicians will have changed the light bulb.

Therefore, by induction, for all n in the positive integers, n mathematicians can change a light bulb.

Bibliography:

[1] Wiener, Matthew P., <11485@ucbvax>, Re: YALBJ, 1986
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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