What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.

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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.

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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.

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How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends on what you want to change it into.

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What do you call two banana peels?

Slippers.

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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.

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What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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