What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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Were does a boat go when it is sick?

To the dock.
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