What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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What two things can you not have for breakfast?

Lunch and dinner.
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What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?

You're the only bright spot in my life.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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