What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.
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Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.

'It's not unusual' he replied.

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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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