What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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How many does it take to screw in a light bulb?

10. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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What is a boxer's favorite drink?

Punch.
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