What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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