What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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What does cheese like to drink?

Morbier
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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