What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth.

It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
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What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?

Not enough cement.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Televangelists screw in motels.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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Why did the girl throw the butter out the window?

She wanted to see a butterfly.
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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