What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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