What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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So the Pillsbury Doughboy's pants fell off and I..

feel really weird about donuts right now.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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So I was on a train with Einstein and he turns to me and asks...

Does Boston stop at this train?
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Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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