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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?
Wet feet.
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When is a door not a door?
When it's ajar!
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.
But that's just nuts
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?
He was tired of working for peanuts.
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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?
Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?
Because E.T. eventually went home!
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Why did the strawberry call 911?
It was in a jam!
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?
Spelling.
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,
I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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