What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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What's in the middle of nowhere?

The letter H.
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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What has legs but doesn't walk?

A bed.
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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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