What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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What did the alien say when he was out of room?

I'm all spaced out!
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How many teenage girls does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One, but she'll be on the phone for five hours telling all her friends about it.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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