What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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What's green and flies as fast as a speeding bullet?

Super Pickle!
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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