What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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What did one hair say to the other?

It takes two to tangle!
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What can you put in a barrel to make it lighter?

Holes.
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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