What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?

She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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How many supply-siders does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The darkness will cause the bulb to change by itself.
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How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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