What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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If the red house is on the left,the blue house is on the right,where is the White House?

In Washington, D.C.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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What do you call a guy who's born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?

Dead.
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