What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?

The pronunciation.
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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What did one flower say to the other flower?

Hey, bud!
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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Who can hold up a bus with one hand?

A crossing guard.
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