What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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Why did the banana split?

It saw the ginger snap.
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If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor?

Silverware.
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How many Mensans does it take to tell Mensa light bulb jokes?

Five. One to tell the joke and one to get it.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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