What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?

A tattoo.

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The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.

I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".
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