What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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