What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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Why did the surfer think the sea was his friend?

Because it gave him a big wave!
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What two things can you not have for breakfast?

Lunch and dinner.
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