What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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Why did the tree go to the dentist?

It needed a root canal.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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A seal walks into a club...
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How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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