What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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