What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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