What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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