What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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Why was the baseball game so hot?

Because all the fans left!
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How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb?

50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him .
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What can you hold without using your hands?

Your breath!
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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