What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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What kind of potato chips fly?

Plane ones.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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What did the candle say to the other candle?

I'm going out tonight!
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