What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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