What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?

It's time to go to sweep.
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor?

Silverware.
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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