What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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How many ergonomicists does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. Four to decide which way the bulb ought to turn, and . . .
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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