What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?

It saves time in the long run.

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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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