What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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