What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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What's green and flies as fast as a speeding bullet?

Super Pickle!
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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