What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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How many Bell Labs vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

That's proprietary information. The answer is available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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How did Ben Franklin feel after discovering electricity?

Shocked.
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