What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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