What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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What did the light bulb say to its mother?

I wuv you watts and watts.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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Interesting story, the guy who helped me learn algebra never farted around anyone.

I mean he did say he was a private tutor.
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