What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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How many dull people does it take to change a light bulb?

One.
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How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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