What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

Many hands make light work.
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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That girl said she knew me from the vegitarian club,

but I'd never seen herbivore [her before]
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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