What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've got you covered!
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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