What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What's a royal pardon?

It's what the queen says after she burps.
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