What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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How do you make an egg laugh?

Tell it a yolk.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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What does cheese say to itself in the mirror?

Halloumi.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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