What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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How many bikers does it take to change a light bulb?

It takes two. One to change the bulb, and the other to kick the switch.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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