What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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What country makes you shiver?

Chile.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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