What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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