What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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What do you call a slow skier?

A slopepoke!
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What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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