What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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What's the difference between a snow man and a snow woman?

Snow balls!
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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How many IBM PC owners does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but she/he'll have to go out and buy the light bulb adaptor card first, which is extra.
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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Who earns a living by driving his customers away?

A taxi driver.
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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