What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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How does an Eskimo stick his house together?

With igloo!
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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