What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Take your foot off his head.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.
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Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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