What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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What do you call a parrot that flew away?

A polygon
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

"Many hands make light work."
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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