What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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How many polite New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Both of them.
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Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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I backed a horse last week at ten to one.

It came in at quarter past four.

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How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

"Many hands make light work."
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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