What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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Why did the basketball player bring his suitcase to his game?

Because he traveled a lot.
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Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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