What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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What's a royal pardon?

It's what the queen says after she burps.
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How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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How do Eskimos make their beds?

With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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