What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane

but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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