What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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I'll call you later.

Don't call me later, call me Dad.
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