What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

The guardians of the galaxy!
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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