What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What washes up on small beaches?

Microwaves.
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What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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What would you call a humorous knee?

Fun-ny!
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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