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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?
An offer you can't understand
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?
He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?
They're both extinct.
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Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?
He was caught stealing second base.
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What does the winner of the race lose?
His breath.
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?
So he could grade his eggs.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.
But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?
It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?
What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?
Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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