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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?
An offer you can't understand
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Who can hold up a bus with one hand?
A crossing guard.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?
A Dogwood
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What's round and bad-tempered?
A vicious circle.
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?
A goat.
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What kind of table has no legs.
A multiplication table.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.
It's Hans free.
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?
By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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What country makes you shiver?
Chile.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"
The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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