What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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How many dadaists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

To get to the other side.
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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What is Donald Trump telling all his supporters?


Orange Is The New Black.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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