What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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Where is a rabbit's favorite place to eat?

Ihop
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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