What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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Who can hold up a bus with one hand?

A crossing guard.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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What kind of table has no legs.

A multiplication table.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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What country makes you shiver?

Chile.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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