What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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What did the rug say to the floor?

Don't move, I've got you covered.
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What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?
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What did Cinderella say to the photographer?

Some day my prints will come.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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