What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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