What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.


It's something I could really see myself doing.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. He gives it to six Californians, thereby reducing the problem to an earlier joke...

In earlier work, Wiener [1] has shown that one mathematician can change a light bulb.

If k mathematicians can change a light bulb, and if one more simply watches them do it, then k+1 mathematicians will have changed the light bulb.

Therefore, by induction, for all n in the positive integers, n mathematicians can change a light bulb.

Bibliography:

[1] Wiener, Matthew P., <11485@ucbvax>, Re: YALBJ, 1986
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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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What do camels use to hide themselves?

Camelflauge
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