What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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