What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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what do you call a tick on the moon?

A luna-tick
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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