What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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What 7 letters did Lizzy say when she opened the refrigerator and found it empty?

O I C U R M T

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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.

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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.

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How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.

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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.

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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.

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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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