What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?

A tattoo.

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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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