What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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Where are sharks from?

Finland.
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

An envelope.
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