What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?

With its sparrowchute.
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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