What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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So I was on a train with Einstein and he turns to me and asks...

Does Boston stop at this train?
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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