What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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I'll call you later.

Don't call me later, call me Dad.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 100?
Your Honor.
What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50

Senator.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth.

It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
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