What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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What did one eye say to the other?

Between you and me, something smells.
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