What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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What does the toast wear to bed?

Jammies!
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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What do you give a sick bird?

Tweetment.
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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Why did a boy thow a clock out the window?

To see time fly.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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