What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.

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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.

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What robs you while you're in the bathtub?

A robber ducky.

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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?

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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one - and let the other one off.

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Have you heard the joke about the butter?

I better not tell you, it might spread.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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