What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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