What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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What would you call a humorous knee?

Fun-ny!
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.
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