What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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How many Jewish American Princesses does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call Daddy, and one to get the (pick one:) mineral water/Tab.
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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