What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed.
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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