What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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What two things can you not have for breakfast?

Lunch and dinner.
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What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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Who can hold up a bus with one hand?

A crossing guard.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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