What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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I backed a horse last week at ten to one.

It came in at quarter past four.

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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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