What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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