What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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How do crows stick together in a flock?

Velcrow.
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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When the attendant asked the photon if it had any bags to check

It said Nah, I'm traveling light.
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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