What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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What bird can lift the most?

A crane.
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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