What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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What two things can you not have for breakfast?

Lunch and dinner.
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Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide!
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How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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