What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.
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Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

He was looking for Pluto.
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth.

It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
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