What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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How many frat guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and the other two to help him down off the keg.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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