What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Televangelists screw in motels.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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What did one eye say to the other?

Between you and me, something smells.
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