What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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