What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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How did the bubble gum cross the road?

On the bottom of the chicken's foot!
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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How many teenage girls does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One, but she'll be on the phone for five hours telling all her friends about it.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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