What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?

A drummer

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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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