What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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Middle C, E-Flat and G walk into a bar.

Sorry, says the barman, we don't serve minors.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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How many Feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That's not funny!!!
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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Why did the surfer think the sea was his friend?

Because it gave him a big wave!
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