What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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How many polite New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Both of them.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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