What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends on what you want to change it into.
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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