What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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