What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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