What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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