What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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What do you call a chicken in the 1960's?

A funky chicken.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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