What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!

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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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