What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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