What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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What is the best time to go to the dentist?

Tooth-hurty.
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What room can you not go into?

A mushroom!
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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How many record producers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two… one to tell the engineer to do it, the other to say "I don't know, what do you think?"

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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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