What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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