What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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