What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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How many dull people does it take to change a light bulb?

One.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What did one magnet say to the other?

I find you very attractive.
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What's the best parting gift?

A comb.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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