What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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What did Cinderella say to the photographer?

Some day my prints will come.
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Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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I went down the local supermarket, I said, "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it",

he said, "Those are pickled onions".

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Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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What do you call a story about a broken pencil?

Pointless
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What did the baby corn ask the mother corn?

Where is pop corn?
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How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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