What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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