What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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What do camels use to hide themselves?

Camelflauge
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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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