What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A whole synod. One to move that the bulb be changed while the others debate until the room spins.
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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