What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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What did Tennessee?
The same thing Arkansas.
What did Delaware?

Her New Jersey.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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What is a boxer's favorite drink?

Punch.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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