What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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"I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said, "How flexible are you?"

I said, "I can't make Tuesdays"

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Two girls were born on the same day, same year, same parents, except they are not twins. Explain:

They are triplets.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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What did the baby corn ask the mother corn?

Where is pop corn?
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?

Taller
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