What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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I'll call you later.

Don't call me later, call me Dad.
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What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.
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What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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