What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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