What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"

The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
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How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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