What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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Why is slippery ice like music?

If you don't C sharp - you'll B flat!

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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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What do you get if Bach falls off a horse but has the courage to get on again and continue riding?

Bach in the saddle again.

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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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