What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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What's the slipperiest country?

Greece!
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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