What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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How many Holocaust revisionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None: they just deny that the bulb ever went out in the first place.
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.

We'll see about that."

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How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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