What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.
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What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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