What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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