What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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Why does the Easter Bunny have a shiny nose?

His powder puff is on the wrong end.
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What did Cinderella say to the photographer?

Some day my prints will come.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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"I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said, "How flexible are you?"

I said, "I can't make Tuesdays"

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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?

He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it

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