What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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How do Vikings send secret messages?

Norse code.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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