What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?

Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out

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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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