What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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