What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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When the attendant asked the photon if it had any bags to check

It said Nah, I'm traveling light.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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