What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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