What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.
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What do you get if Bach falls off a horse but has the courage to get on again and continue riding?

Bach in the saddle again.

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Why did the banana split?

It saw the ginger snap.
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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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