What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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What's the difference between a snow man and a snow woman?

Snow balls!
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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