What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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