What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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Why do hummingbirds hum?

Because they don't know the words.
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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