What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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Three people were in a boat. They all fell off. Only two people ended up with wet hair. Why didn't the other person's hair get wet?

Because he was bald!
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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When can't you see a cheese?

When it's pasteurised...
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What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 100?
Your Honor.
What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50

Senator.
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What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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