What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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So I was on a train with Einstein and he turns to me and asks...

Does Boston stop at this train?
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