What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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