What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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Who says sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?

A guy who has never been hit with a dictionary.
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?

Not enough sand.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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