What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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Why did Lil Wayne go to the Doctor?

He was feeling a Lil Weezy

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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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How do you catch a unique bird?

Unique up on it.
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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