What do you give a sick bird?

Tweetment.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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