What do you give a sick bird?

Tweetment.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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How many subscribers to AOL does it take to change a light bulb?

What? You can change light bulbs?
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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How many dadaists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

To get to the other side.
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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