What do you give a sick bird?

Tweetment.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane

but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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Why did Lil Wayne go to the Doctor?

He was feeling a Lil Weezy

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How many record producers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two… one to tell the engineer to do it, the other to say "I don't know, what do you think?"

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