What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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What is a baby's motto?

If at first you don't succeed, cry and cry again!
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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