What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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