What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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What's the best parting gift?

A comb.
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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What does one bucket say to the other?

I am feeling pale today.
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What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide!
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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