What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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