What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."

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What are pirate's favoite treat?

Chips AHOY!!
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.

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Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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How many record producers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two… one to tell the engineer to do it, the other to say "I don't know, what do you think?"

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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.

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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon


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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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