What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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