What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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Dorian Gray Jokes,

they never get old!
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Were does a boat go when it is sick?

To the dock.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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