What does a cat call a hummingbird?

Fast food.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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I went down the local supermarket, I said, "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it",

he said, "Those are pickled onions".

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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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