What does a cat call a hummingbird?

Fast food.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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