What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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What do you give a sick bird?

Tweetment.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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Why did the surfer think the sea was his friend?

Because it gave him a big wave!
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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How many polite New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Both of them.
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