What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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