What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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