What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow

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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet

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Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Take your foot off his head.
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.

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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.

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