What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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What do aliens on the metric system say?

Take me to your liter.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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