What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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How does an Eskimo stick his house together?

With igloo!
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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