What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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