What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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Why did the TV cross the road?

Because it wanted to be a flat screen.
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