What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?

When it's full.
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What did one hair say to the other?

It takes two to tangle!
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Why does cheese look sane?

Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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