What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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What is a baby's motto?

If at first you don't succeed, cry and cry again!
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