What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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