What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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What can you hold without using your hands?

Your breath!
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How did the egg cross the road?

It scrambled across!
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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What kind of potato chips fly?

Plane ones.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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