What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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Does it take longer to run from 1st base to 2nd, or from 2nd to 3rd?

From 2nd to 3rd because there's a shortstop in the middle.
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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