What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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Why did the oreo go to the dentist?

To get his filling!
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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