What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What's in the middle of nowhere?

The letter H.
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How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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