What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?
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What did the rug say to the floor?

Don't move, I've got you covered.
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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