What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Snow.
Snow who?

Snowbody!
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How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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Why did the banana go to the hospital?

Because he wasn't peeling well!
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PMS jokes are not funny...

[Period]
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