What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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