What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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Some people believe that becoming a vegitarian is just a mistake...

A Missed-steak.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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