What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Take your foot off his head.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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What is a snowman's favorite breakfast?

Frosted Flakes!
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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