What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What bird can lift the most?

A crane.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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