What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A tree in a golden forest.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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