What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?

Taller
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What has legs but doesn't walk?

A bed.
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What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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