What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?

Taller
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How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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How many Holocaust revisionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None: they just deny that the bulb ever went out in the first place.
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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