What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?

Taller
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What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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What do aliens on the metric system say?

Take me to your liter.
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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How many running-dog lackeys of the bourgeoisie does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to exploit the proletariat, and one to control the means of production!
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