What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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How do chickens get strong?

Egg-cersize.
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Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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