What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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When is a door not a door?

When it's ajar!
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How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.
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How many Mensans does it take to tell Mensa light bulb jokes?

Five. One to tell the joke and one to get it.
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How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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