What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?

Snowflakes.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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