What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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What does the winner of the race lose?

His breath.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide!
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