What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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