What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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I'm in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won a years supply of Marmite

......... one jar.
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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