What does cheese like to drink?

Morbier
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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What's the difference between a tuba and a vacumn cleaner?

You have to turn one of them on before it sucks.

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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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What does one bucket say to the other?

I am feeling pale today.
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