What does cheese say to itself in the mirror?

Halloumi.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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Know how copper wire was invented?

Two lawyers were fighting over a penny.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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What do you call a song sung in an automobile?

A cartoon.
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What do you call a guy who's born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?

Dead.
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