What does cheese say to itself in the mirror?

Halloumi.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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