What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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