What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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