What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?

I don't know. There are some things even a blonde won't do.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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Why did the cucumber call 911?

It was in a pickle!
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What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?

A drummer

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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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