What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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Where do all the letters sleep?

In the alphabed.
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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