What does new age music sound like played backwards?

New age music.

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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?

Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out

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How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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What do you call two banana peels?

Slippers.
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?

Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!
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