What does one bucket say to the other?

I am feeling pale today.
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Why should you never tell a secret in a corn field?

Because there are too many ears.
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Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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What did the alien say when he was out of room?

I'm all spaced out!
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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