What does one bucket say to the other?

I am feeling pale today.
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Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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