What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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Three people were in a boat. They all fell off. Only two people ended up with wet hair. Why didn't the other person's hair get wet?

Because he was bald!
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