What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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