What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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What's the definition of a minor second?

Two flutes playing in unison.

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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin!
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What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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