What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.

'It's not unusual' he replied.

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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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