What does the toast wear to bed?

Jammies!
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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A seal walks into a club...
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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