What does the toast wear to bed?

Jammies!
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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How many polite New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Both of them.
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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So I was on a train with Einstein and he turns to me and asks...

Does Boston stop at this train?
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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