What does the toast wear to bed?

Jammies!
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How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. He gives it to six Californians, thereby reducing the problem to an earlier joke...

In earlier work, Wiener [1] has shown that one mathematician can change a light bulb.

If k mathematicians can change a light bulb, and if one more simply watches them do it, then k+1 mathematicians will have changed the light bulb.

Therefore, by induction, for all n in the positive integers, n mathematicians can change a light bulb.

Bibliography:

[1] Wiener, Matthew P., <11485@ucbvax>, Re: YALBJ, 1986
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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Why was the baseball game so hot?

Because all the fans left!
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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