What does the winner of the race lose?

His breath.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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Why did the cucumber call 911?

It was in a pickle!
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They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane

but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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How many bikers does it take to change a light bulb?

It takes two. One to change the bulb, and the other to kick the switch.
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How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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