What does the winner of the race lose?

His breath.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin!
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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