What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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How did the egg cross the road?

It scrambled across!
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?

Not enough cement.
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Why is b always cool?

Because it's between ac.
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