What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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What did one flower say to the other flower?

Hey, bud!
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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