What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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Middle C, E-Flat and G walk into a bar.

Sorry, says the barman, we don't serve minors.
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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What is a boxer's favorite drink?

Punch.
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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