What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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How many Bell Labs vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

That's proprietary information. The answer is available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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