What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assure the everything possible is being done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet.
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What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three, but they're really only one.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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