What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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What did the baby corn ask the mother corn?

Where is pop corn?
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What goes up and down but never moves?

Stairs.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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