What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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When can't you see a cheese?

When it's pasteurised...
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.

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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!

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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.

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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.

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