What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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