What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What does cheese like to drink?

Morbier
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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