What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth.

It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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