What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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Where does Dorian Gray shop?

Forever 21
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How do you catch a unique bird?

Unique up on it.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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