What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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What is a baby's motto?

If at first you don't succeed, cry and cry again!
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Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

He was looking for Pluto.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?

Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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