What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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How many record producers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two… one to tell the engineer to do it, the other to say "I don't know, what do you think?"

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Why didn't the rooster cross the road?

Because it was chicken.
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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What 7 letters did Lizzy say when she opened the refrigerator and found it empty?

O I C U R M T
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What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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