What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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