What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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What did one flower say to the other flower?

Hey, bud!
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Dorian Gray Jokes,

they never get old!
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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