What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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