What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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Why did the gardener plant his money?

He wanted his soil to be rich!
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Why are the floors of basketball courts always so damp?

The players dribble a lot.
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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