What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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A seal walks into a club...
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How many board meetings does it take to get a light bulb changed?

This topic was resumed from last week's discussion, but is incomplete pending resolution of some action items. It will be continued next week. Meanwhile . . .
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What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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