What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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If the red house is on the left,the blue house is on the right,where is the White House?

In Washington, D.C.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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