What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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