What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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Two girls were born on the same day, same year, same parents, except they are not twins. Explain:

They are triplets.
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What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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