What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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Why did they kick cinderella off the baseball team?

She kept running away from the ball.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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