What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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What robs you while you're in the bathtub?

A robber ducky.
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