What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor?

Silverware.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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