What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

"Many hands make light work."
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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