What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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A Bhuddist monk goes to a hotdog stand

and says make me one with everything.
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How many accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What kind of answer did you have in mind?
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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