What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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What robs you while you're in the bathtub?

A robber ducky.
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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